The Coyote's Tale

living that crazy life (yummy!)

2005-10-28T22:36:26Z

i think i must be addicted to crazy life (i am resisting putting in a reference to another puerto rican here, if you guess it i'll give you a secret prize) because i am happiest when my life is crammed with things to do, i love to be busy and am constantly.

sweet, right?

but then, as things get crazier and crazier (as they do when your involved in theatre) other parts of my life fall behind. first goes exercise (hey, i'm running around everywhere anyway, right?) then goes cleanliness of space (i'll clean the house later, too tired now) and finally my friends. i begin to lose touch, talk seldom and see even less. so my difficulty is in showing that i still care and think about the people in my life (it's more true than you realize, when your in my life you live in my head.) often i find that those who i become closest with are others who can accept sporadic (at best) contact because there are maybe 2 good friends whom i see on a regular (weekly) basis. the truth is that if people who i care about lived down the street, i would hang out with them constantly because %90 of my free time exists in snippets of an hour here or a couple hours there, i rarely have time in longer chunks that that.

i apologize if i sound like a broken record, this is an aspect of myself that i am only now fully realizing/accepting so i am attempting to unravel and understand it. and hey, this is supposed to be a "journal" right? heh, fucking live jounral. :-P

-m

Cows shall fear Sweden

2005-10-24T23:28:07Z

A fictional (and stilted) conversation between two Swedes:

Swede01: Well, looks like oil prices are getting worse by the day.
Swede02: Yes, however shall we keep our precious trains running when the oil runs out?
Swede01: Coal?
Swede02: No, too expensive, we need something on a massive scale.
Swede01: And something that we can produce a lot of.
Swede02: Yes! So what do we have a lot of that we can burn?
Swede01: ...
Swede02: ...
Swede01: Cow guts.
Swede02: What?
Swede01: Yes, we shall run our trains on cow guts.

Check out Sweeden's new cow powered train!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/4373440.stm

Dead Man Walking

2005-10-19T01:50:33Z

On sunday I was called back to audition for Dead Man Walking.

There were three one hour slots, John (the director) kept me there for the entire time. He gave us a scene to read "knee to knee" with a partner while he walked around and observed. Every once in a while he would say something like "You may touch your partner in anyway that feels right and is appropriate." and finally "Now drop the scripts, improvise the scene and keep the intention of wanting to touch your partner but not being able to." We would rotate at seemingly random times so that we worked with everybody once or twice.

This continued for three hours with the groups changing every hour save for me and a couple others. After the auditions I went and hung out with my buddy Nick and we talked about how impossible it is to tell who was cast because you couldn't gauge how anybody else was doing (since it was boy/girl pairs for the two leads.)

After the audition I told John that I only wanted to be considered for Matthew (the lead, a man on death row for the murder of a young couple.) and he had a strange reaction, not adding to my already low expectations of being cast (Matt being about as much Aryan as I am Puerto Rican.) We we're supposed to get a call monday night if we were cast and that the official cast listing would be posted this morning.

i did not receive a call.

Now, of course it's a possibility that John didn't have my number (They didn't ask for it when I auditioned.) I let it go. Today I go onto myspace and see a post by Nick saying "Hey, I got in, who else got cast?" a few hours later, Rush called me and say "Hey, I am just calling because you told me to let you know if you got in, so I am calling to tell you that you got the lead, Matthew Poncelet..."

fuck....

I haven't wanted to play a part as much as this since Puck. I can't collect myself enough to accurately articulate how fucking excited I am about this role.

Steve Roach on the (net) radio

2005-10-10T07:51:27Z

hmmm, so who is this Steve Roach guy? He is sounding pretty awesome...

Kurt Vonnegut's List*

2005-09-14T19:40:23Z

*as posted on The Daily Show website

Kurt Vonnegut's:

LIBERAL CRAP I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN

Give us this day our daily bread. Oh sure.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those wh trespass against us.
Nobody better trespass against me. I'll tell you that.

Blessed are the meek.

Blessed are the merciful. You mean we can't use torture?

Blessed are the peacemakers. Jane Fonda?

Love your enemies. Arabs?

Ye cannot serve God and Mammon. The hell I can't! Look at the Reverand Pat Robertson. And He is as happy as a pig in sh*t.

My Conversation with god

2005-09-14T10:29:14Z

There is this popular chatbot called iGod I had a late night conversation with it and took the position of "stoner" whilest talking to Him. I was pretty impressed by the A.I. (or the illusion of, if you will.) and the conversation was funny so I thought I would post it here.

Behind the cut of course.....

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Miyaka
God:
How are you doing, Miyaka.
Me:
tired
God:
Better get some rest.
Me:
but i would like to talk to you
God:
What would you like to chat about?
Me:
mushroom
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i want to talk about mushrooms
God:
Sure, mushrooms sounds like a good topic.
Me:
have you ever used magic mushrooms?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
do they give you visions?
God:
Who are "they" again?
Me:
magic mushrooms
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
sweet
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
so, what's up with the devil?
God:
How can I help you? I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
oh right, sorry
God:
That's interesting. Understood. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
i am scared of the darkness
God:
Let's talk about your fears. What is your feeling like?
Me:
like something is trying to get me
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
do you use cannibis?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
does it get you high?
God:
Suppose it does.
Me:
do you like ganja?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like the Bible.
Me:
did jesus smoke weed?
God:
he is the Son of God.
Me:
yes?
God:
Come on.
Me:
word
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
divinity
God:
Sure, divinity sounds like a good topic.
Me:
i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too Miyaka.
Me:
do you love me?
God:
Yes I love everyone.
Me:
awesome!
God:
I'm glad you liked it Miyaka.
Me:
am i going to hell?
God:
All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
lame
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
h.p. lovecraft
God:
I haven't read anything by h p lovecraft. What did he write?
Me:
who is your favorite author?
God:
My favorite author is Matthew.
Me:
was mary good in bed?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
was mary good in bed?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
maybe?
God:
I understand.
Me:
what do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
what do you think about zen?
God:
A variety of Buddhism, now practiced especially in Japan, Vietnam, and Korea, seeking to attain an intuitive illumination of mind and spirit through meditation, especially on paradoxes. The teachings and discipline of this kind of Buddhism.
Me:
do you like zen?
God:
I do like music. I like to talk about movies and music.
Me:
who is your favorite band?
God:
My favorite group is Creed.
Me:
creed sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
it's lame, pretentious, and falsy pious
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
hell yeah!
God:
I call it "Hades". What makes you so sure?
Me:
it's cheap, shallow, hallow, and weak rock
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yes, i am sure
God:
How do you know it is? Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
expressing certitude
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
no
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
what is originality?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
i have a question
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
do you want to smoke?
God:
OK, I will smoke.
Me:
i have some dank marijuana for you
God:
Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me:
okay, floaty and happy
God:
Yeah okay, Where are you located?
Me:
shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
where am I?
God:
Your location is.
Me:
haha, funny
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Me:
i am going to go to sleep now
God:
Oh. Can I go too?
Me:
sure, but only if you cuddle with me
God:
Tell me more. I think I do.
Me:
i'll tell you when you get under the covers with me

Best stage direction, ever.

2005-08-27T09:17:07Z

Angie performs a sort of exorcism while Mara howls and screeches, convulsing and then finally falling limp. If possible, Mara should disappear completely, replaced by a pile of smoking ash (of hell)

:-D

This is from the play I am writing for 24 hour theater. hehe.

Hair

2005-08-24T05:02:17Z

i just shaved my head, completely. it felt wonderful.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged)

2005-07-22T17:46:36Z

For those who don't know, I will be one of three actors doing The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) at Sonoma County Repertory Theater ( The Rep )

The show opens tonight and is a hilarious romp through Shakespeares fantastics and flops. We do Titus Andronicus as a cooking show, we rap Othello and do all of the histories as a Football game. Get the idea? Great, then come see the show!

Playing: July 22nd - Aug 7th (Thursday-Saturday with one matinee on the 7th)
At our theater on N.Main St, Sebastopol.
Part of the annual
Sebastopol Shakespeare Festival

Show starts at 7pm
Tickets: General $20, Student/Senior $15, 12 and under Free!

Tickets available by calling 707-823-0177

Be sure and make reservations, tickets will sell out.

spectralcoyote @ 2005-06-27T01:03:00

2005-06-27T08:03:35Z

summer work week #2 begins in 9 hours and i remain awake and creative...

"not now honey." i say to my creativity "i need to rest, i'm not a machine!"

Speaking of creativity, I was acting for 10 hours today, not all of it was acting mind you, a respectable amount was waiting for my cue to come on stage or writing notes/running lines, but for 10 hours I was working with the craft I love and it made me happy. The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) looks to be fantastic, it's really starting to take shape and tighten up.

Right now is a truly fulfilling time, I am feeling like a lot of work I have been doing is paying off. I won't get too attached because things are bound to change, but for now I am feeling very happy.

Also, although I desire it, I am perfectly content without a special person in my life right now, it's not bothersome to be alone. Cheers to a lack of dependancy on relationships! Woohoo! I only cheer because I tend to be a serial monogamist so this is good for me to not have emotional problems while single.

and on that note, i head to sleep...goodnight moon

a question

2005-06-26T07:18:19Z

This is mostly for those who know me outside of the e-land but your more than welcome to answer if you don't.

If I called you tomorrow and said that I was running away from everything, would you go with me?

In other news, work is going fantastically, I love the kids and they seem to really enjoy me as a teacher. I can't really think of a more ideal situation than teaching theater, I feel like I could really go for t his one which is really nice because it allows me to let go of having to "make it" which isn't really what I want to do anyway, I just want to do really enjoyable work that people enjoy.

summer life is insane.

The other night, a bunch of people came over and we played ultimate frisbee in the dark with glow necklaces to signify teams and an incredibly trippy glo-frisbee with a blue L.E.D. after a exhilarating game we moved on to a donut shop for some bizarre late night discussions over sugary things. It was a truly great night and I think we are going to make it a weekly thing.

spectralcoyote @ 2005-06-15T17:55:00

2005-06-16T00:55:03Z

i want it to be the weekend now.

fucked

2005-06-15T21:15:52Z

i had it ready but i completely forgot to give my invoice to my boss yesterday, which means i won't get paid for two months of work.

i am fucked.

one fine day

2005-06-14T06:17:33Z

i had a really awesome day on sunday. from the crazy haight street, to the tippy top of san francisco, to one of the most delicious dinners i've enjoyed in a long time (it was orgasmic) and loveable tom foolery on the sidewalks leading up to my car.

i wish i could take a pause from my life at the moment and be in san francisco, live there, have a new life. i feel so much more alive when i am in the city, i always see a great number of people who have intriguing energies or just seem interesting.

half of me wants to just let go, the other half is stopping me and i'm not entire sure why, yet.

am i waiting for something?

all things aside, i had a perfect sunday and that's all that matters right now.

my summer schedule

2005-06-10T09:33:45Z

So, here is the list of my days off for the entire summer:

6/12

*blink* *blink*

This will literally be the most intense schedule of my life. I am rehearsing and performing two plays at once as well as teaching theater 4 days a week. I will have a few fridays during the day off, and two monday evenings (6/27 and 7/4) but other than that I am booked until late july when one of my plays is done (so I will have weekday evenings.)

Social time? HAH, as much as I can squeeze out. It's going to be first come first serve and/or last minute get togethers (I.E. *call* Hey, I got out of rehearsal early, wanna hang out?)

Don't let all this discourage you from calling me, I would love to see people as often as much as I can.

spectralcoyote @ 2005-05-27T17:53:00

2005-05-28T00:53:20Z

and so, i am off to a weekend in which there is high possibility for many strange and amazing things to happen.

must.remember.to.breath.

Description of a night terror

2005-05-27T23:32:03Z

I had a night terror last night, I don't think I have described one here before now. This is what it's like:

I open my eyes and am jerked into consciousness. I lay in bed with my head facing the wall, I look up to se a dark smokey puddle of liquid, two black shadows of clawed hands ascend from the portal, digging themselves into the wall. For a moment I don't know what to do, my fight or flight instinct is acting like a deer in the headlights. A head rises out of the black cloud, the darkness where eyes should be peers at me. I scream at the top of my lungs and leap out of bed, rushing out of my room and into the hallway where there is light. I curl into a ball and the floor and begin shaking uncontrollably, my heart pounds against my ribs as if trying to burst out of me and run away. After a moment I realize what has just happened, I go back into my room and turn on the light, which remains on until I wake up the next morning.

The night terror's I experience are hypnagogic, I am literally awake and asleep at the same time. My eyes are open, I am fully conscious and able to function physically and mentally but reality is dictated by my subconscious, creating "hallucinations."

My science nerd friend Patrick told me hallucinations can technically be reality because they send the same signals as our physical (i.e. sight) perceptions, so the result is basically the same. If we perceive something as reality, it becomes reality.

A burst of Creative Energy

2005-05-24T11:40:15Z

I am working on a "mini-album" with songs I have made in Garageband, I am pretty happy with a couple of them, not enough for a proper album, but something to pass out to friends and such. So far, the songs I have on it are:

Tri-Nu
Shrine Fruit
Atom Tracer
Evar Evoli (Remember the old days)

And the E.P. shall be called эскизы луны (Ehskeezi Looni)

It's going to have one or two straight forward dance tracks and I was thinking of taking a song or two I made for computer games and tweaking it a little to make it a proper song.

Anyway, I am excited, it feels good to be musically productive again. Hooray!

Summertime

2005-05-18T10:38:00Z

I have just finished my paper, the last thing of my first school year and I am tired, I feel good, but I am tired. I am going to have a lot of fun this summer even though I won't be going anywhere.

So, anybody wanna come visit me now? ^_^ We'll have fun!

cheers!

spectralcoyote @ 2005-05-10T03:17:00

2005-05-10T10:17:43Z

"Shuzan held out his short staff and said, 'If you call this a short staff, you oppose its reality. If you do not call it a short staff, you ignore the fact. Now what do you wish to call this?'"

It makes me happy. Do you understand?

guilty pleasure.

2005-05-02T08:33:40Z

"I`m wandering the streets of pain
Taking the confusion
Shed my skin, adore the rain
Merge in the illusion "

so.damn.gothy.

i seriously need to stop procrastinating so much, this is getting ridiculous. but on the bright-side, i am feeling really good even in the midst of finals.

my cyborg eye sees all:

0_@

rar

Juice Boxes

2005-04-28T07:51:22Z

i am editing this out of the essay i am writing, it was a stream of consciousness sprouted from the memory of juice boxes, i thought i would share it anyway:

"I took another sip from my juice box, juice box yay, I loved juice boxes, they were the greatest, they were awesome,"

In the great words of 90s Rap I shall request: Hollar if ya hear me.

you dig?

Juice boxes!

spectralcoyote @ 2005-04-27T17:47:00

2005-04-28T00:47:28Z

It's about time:

I just hope he actually comes through with this one and positive things come from it.

21st birthday debauchery

2005-04-27T19:00:37Z

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It was my 21st birthday on monday and I decided to let loose all the stops. Keep in mind that I am not a drinker and I am, in fact, rather impartial to it. However, I enjoy experience, and this is an experience I am glad I had but not something I want to do again. We started at a dive bar and then headed into the "Beermuda Triangle" in cotati.

For those interested, here are the stats of the debauchery:
Bars=3 (Red's Recovery Room, The Yacht Club, The Eight Ball)
Drank 12 drinnks, remembered 9:
2 shots Vodka and Cranbery with a wedge of lime
1 shot yager (sp? I am not sure what that is)
2 shots Sidecar (brandy)
1 glass german beer
1 shot purple hooter (Vodka)
1 shot Apple [something or other] (it was red, kinda sweet, and disgusting)
1 shot tequilla (ouch)
1 glass beer (unknown)
1 (unkown)
1 (unkown)

Drunk & Dials=3+
Jennifer King (artistic director of The-Rep)
Derek (friend and actor in oregon)
Breck (my cousin)

Also, I smoked a couple cigarettes (YUCH!) and ate a double double burger at in-n-out (that's right folks, a big 'ole helping of RED MEAT. ugh) with a chocolate shake.

I don't remember much after the shot of tequila but I remember everybody's name who I met (I'm crazy like that.) I woke up this morning to found my bed covered in puke. I threw up in my sleep, thank god I didn't sleep on my back.

Thanks to a tip I picked up from Jordan <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/captbaritone/> I made a black mark with a sharpie on my wrist every time I had a drink. This was of great help and reference. The interesting part, is that it formed into an I Ching, #29 K'an - The Abysmal (Water) to be precise. If you want an explination of what it means (it's quite interesting and synchronistic) as well as a photo of my arm and how I felt in the morning, it's all behind the cut...

<lj-cut>

This is how many drinks I had:
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v239/amlc/af7d6af1.jpg">

And this is what I felt like this morning.
<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v239/amlc/844ca7dd.jpg">

The mark on my arm means this:

29. K'an - The Abysmal (Water)

-- --
----- above K'an The Abysmal, Water
-- --
-- --
----- below K'an The Abysmal, Water
-- --

The Judgement

The Abysmal repeated.
If you are sincere, you have success in your heart,
And whatever you do succeeds.

The Image

Water flows on uninterruptedly and reaches its goal:
The image of the Abysmal repeated.
Thus the superior man walks in lasting virtue
And carries on the business of teaching.

The Lines

Six at the beginning means:
Repetition of the Abysmal.
In the abyss one falls into a pit.
Misfortune.

() Nine in the second place means:
The abyss is dangerous.
One should strive to attain small things only.

Six in the third place means:
Forward and backward, abyss on abyss.
In danger like this, pause at first and wait,
Otherwise you will fall into a pit in the abyss.
Do not act in this way.

Six in the fourth place means:
A jug of wine, a bowl of rice with it;
Earthen vessels
Simply handed in through the window.
There is certainly no blame in this.

() Nine in the fifth place means:
The abyss is not filled to overflowing,
It is filled only to the rim.
No blame.

Six at the top means:
Bound with cords and ropes,
Shut in between thorn-hedged prison walls:
For three years one does not find the way.
Misfortune.

21

2005-04-25T09:25:21Z

It's my birthday and freedom is mind.[sic]

Ganesha...